There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
