she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
