Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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