Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
