i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
