I heard we made out
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
