Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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