every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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