I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She bit a glass in half.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
