spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
