That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
