Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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