were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
