just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
