if you like me you must not know who I am
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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