Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
