But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
