I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sorry about my life...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
