There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize