i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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