Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
