ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
