I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
