where am i from again
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There r osticjed everywhere
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
