Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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