Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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