you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
