My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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