just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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