everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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