Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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