My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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