My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize