Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
