cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
