my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
