I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
