i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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