yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
