I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he thought i was a dude.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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