I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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