So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
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I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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