i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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