I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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