What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
