Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
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Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
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Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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