Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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