i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We got so high we made milksteak
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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