Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
