Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
