my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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