i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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