His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
