She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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