I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
