i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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