My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
