just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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