Just fell off a train. Bad.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
