my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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