Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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