I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
