let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
