Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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