the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
