you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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