Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
