you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
