There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
